ICT both supports and controls our lives, but today it is necessary and unavoidable for our way of living. In the present paper different ways to approach security are critically examined. The main question is how we may able to handle these issues in real life and how to create suitable and working system designs and policies. We need to consider the controversial nature of security, and base our efforts on classical philosophical theory and psychological research. By that we can develop suitable skills, methods and tools to be adopted in a democratic and deliberative process in order to create, revise and apply policies, guidelines, designs, rules and principles.